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Pain and Pleasure
Love and Hate
Fear and Favour
Tears and Laughter

 
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A Psychological Factor

Love and Hate

by Anwar Shaikh

Love and hate are two principal emotional states of human mind: the former makes man god, and the latter devil.

Love is a weakness for man and strength for woman. His physical might which inspires in him sourness, sternness and savagery is counterbalanced by his desire for female caress, making him meek, mellow and merciful. It turns him into a slave raising her status to that of a mistress.

Love is the guarantor of woman's survival. Without proneness to love, man will be a savage, a serpent, a slayer for suffering from psychological ailments such as foulness, ferocity and fidgetiness. Woman's love tames the male brute into a worthy partner.

Life is a parched desert for being subject to the law of nature which is neutral, heartless and mechanical. Love is the moisture which turns it into a colorful garden of desire, hope and fulfillment.

God may not be love as He is the creator of hell infested with scorpions and cobras but love is God for being the zest of life and remedy for the disastrous effects of fear, fiasco and frustration.

This universe is composed of forces which are exactly equal and opposite. This is the reason that all attributes come in opposite pairs, and one cannot operate without the other. As a positive charge of electricity is useless without a negative charge, the concept of virtue without vice, pain without pleasure and love without hate is meaningless. Nobody can say that something is sweet without knowing what sour is.

As an electric circuit cannot be completed without reactions of positive and negative charges, the circuit of life remains incomplete and senseless without reactions of love and hate, the two opposite psychological poles of humanity. However, there is a difference: the operation of physical forces is mechanical whereas love and hate, even when spontaneous, may be operated by will. It is this discretion which lends love and hate the dignity of moral concepts.

Love and hate despite being antonyms can be used as synonyms: hatred of vice may be the same thing as love of virtue.

Love attracts but hate repels. People in love are untied but those who suffer hatred, are torn asunder.

The lovers are so closely bound together by the passion of love that being distinct individuals, they represent the phenomenon of "unity in diversity." It is no exaggeration that lovers are like the waves of the ocean which rise to move together, and as they fall, they merge into one another.

Love is a unity in life and death, mirth and misery, paucity and plentitude.

Hate, on the other hand, is dissolution. People in hate have no destination except marching in the opposite directions. Malevolence is the code of their life. Neither they can be happy themselves nor can they see someone else being cheerful; malignity is as natural to them as hissing is to a snake, burning to fire and rocking to an earthquake. Their life is a process of devolution i.e. a movement from organization to chaos, a downward march from the summit, a wilful entanglement from the straight current into a whirlpool.

After this general description of 1ove and hate, I may try to discuss the two concepts separately:

A. LOVE

It is like the changing colors of the Taj Mahal affected by the position of the sun. People's outlook towards love is determined by their disposition, taste, magnitude of passions and personal experience. Therefore, a single definition of this virtue is not possible; only a general explanation may render some satisfaction:

1. Love is life because it starts with love-making. Again, a baby is born helpless and crying; it is prone to death without the love and care of mother.

2. Love is an oasis in the desert of life.

3. Love is a delight; it resembles the happiness of a sobbing child lost in a crowd, who, suddenly finds his mother.

4. Love is a self-sacrifice for the benefit of others; it is a mother's passion for the baby; it is an ardor of a patriot for his country; it is the attachment of a martyr to his ideal.

5. Love is the true zest of life; once love is lost, irrespective of what it may be, life looks drab, dreary and desolate even if one possesses the whole world.

Life without love is as dark and disturbing as space is without luminaries.

6. Love is not a contract whose terms can be argued. Nor is it something which you can take or leave. It is something which happens whether you like it or not.

7. Love makes life a tide when requited and turns it into an ebb when frustrated.

8. Love is surrender and not rule; even when it is governance it is a service in spirit. He who seeks to rule through love is a wolf pretending to be a lamb.

9. The one who loves is the captive, and the one who is loved is the captor. No tragedy is greater than falling in love with a person who is irrational, irresponsible and imperious.

10. Love is a stumble because you never know when it may happen. If you know, then it is not love; it is more likely to be a fancy or a wishful design.

11. Life filled with enjoyment of love is the complete blessing even when tacked with hazards. Every trial serves as a source of strength to keep love intact, indomitable and invincible.

12. No slave is ever happy except the one enslaved by love.

13. The lover loses his/her personality and assumes a character tied to the will of love. Thus both his/her bliss and blight are directed by someone else. His/her plight is better described with reference to the Stoics, who held that man is ruled by fate: he is like a dog tied to the back of a cart and is led by it whether he likes it or not. What the Stoics believed about the relationship between fate and man, applies even more strictly to the lover and love. It is like the rider and horse, who is spurred by the former according to his will.

This form of love is an emotional insanity, but normal love is a source of discipline, determination and dedication.

14. Unrequited love is not love but disturbance of the mind because it stints one's dreams, desires and designs, whose fulfillment constitutes zest of life. Loving someone who does not care, and even may be given to hate, hurt and hostility, is simply madness. The unrequited love is like a balloon without air; it is a fossilized flower which has retained its appearance through ages but lost its vigor, verdure and vivacity.

15. Love is the greatest virtue but its moral paramountcy depends upon one's ability to recognize it. The skill to appreciate love is a passport to happiness, but inaptitude leads to sorrow, sadness and suffering. One who cannot tell difference between a friend and foe, is a fool destined to suffer frustration. He who takes a fair-weather friend for a true mate, does not know that a fair-weather friend is like a black rolling cloud, which promises rain but delivers thunder and lightning.

16. Love is not a commodity which can be bought or sold. Fondness based on enticement is just a mirage. Of course, love is selfless, yet it seeks reward. That which does not seek reward becomes slavish and cheap. Love being the greatest virtue deserves the highest reward yet it does not ask for anything in return. What an enigma it is!

17. Love is its own reward, that is, love seeks love in return. If it does not, it is a mark of infatuation, a symptom of insanity, a symbol of self-disrespect. A lover wants his kisses to be returned, his embraces rewarded with hugs, his supplications heard and the warmth of his sighs exchanged with fire of passions; love without requital is like wooing a nun devoted to celibacy; it is an act of quenching extreme thirst at a dried well.

18. Requital of love is commensurate with its sincerity, and not its bulk or grandeur. If one offers the only penny that one possesses in return for a pound, one has fully honored the ideal of love. The person who requires a pound for pound, is more of a businessman and less of a lover. What he calls love is, in fact. lust.

19. Love is the highest form of purity. Thus it expects the purest reward, which is none other than love-in-return. It is like the reward of a martyr who seeks the glory of his ideal, which keeps the fervor of devotion alive. It is only the return-fire of love which keeps love glowing.

20. True love cannot be extinguished. It is an ever-roaring flame. Anyone who tries to dissuade a lover, appears to him/her like a butcher, who gives a sermon on animal rights and propriety of vegetarianism; he looks like a hangman, preaching non-violence.

Love is more of a smoldering fire, and less of leaping flames, which enable a locomotive engine to run at high speed. Its warmth makes the lover steady, serious and stubborn, determining his attitude to life. An attempt to interfere with his passions looms as an attack on his personality; it ranks as an effort to quell fire by throwing petrol on it.

21. True love just happens; it cannot be engineered or begged for; it is an explosion in a coal mine, a lightning in the sky, a thunder of the rolling clouds.

Of course, love does occasionally emerge slowly, but gradually emerging love is usually a feeling of convenience, and not the superb, splendid and supreme eternal flame redolent with divine ardour. The arranged marriages are an example in point. People believe that once a couple are bound in a matrimonial knot, they eventually learn to love each other. It is a half truth because the fact remains that an arranged marriage is a loveless union kept going by consideration of mutual convenience; it is like yoking a cow and bull together; they must march in the same direction or perish.

Conversely, the "love marriages," which end up in divorce soon after passions of consummation have subsided, are models of lust, and are a disgrace to the ideal of love. Such a marriage is akin to sand which looks like water in the desert; it is a wolf in lamb's clothing, a plunderer in a priest's mantle, a whore in a nun's habit.

True love is not an infatuation which wears off with gratification of passions. It is natural coupling of hearts which cannot be undone; it is the desire to live and last together.

22. Love is a strange potion: the more bitter it is, the sweeter it tastes. Being the loftiest goal, the greater hurdles make its achievement more desirable. Love is a cloud with a silver lining, a barren land containing a gold mine, a bitter pill offering an effective cure.

23. Love has different meanings in relation to man and woman though in sincerity, ardour and spirit of self- sacrifice, they are exactly alike. The difference lies in their source of motivation: man's love is mainly erotic whereas woman's love is mostly philanthropic because the former marries for sex whereas the latter goes through a nuptial ceremony for having a family. Of course, man as the father of mankind has his own grandeur, but the splendour of motherhood sparkles with a greater glow, glory and gaiety. The terrific pains of birth and tedious problems of upbringing are converted into delight, dignity and desideratum by the force of motherly love without any desire for reward, return or reguerdon. She is not only the cornerstone of the family of man but also the ultimate because humanity simply means acquiring the motherly traits of love, sincerity and selflessness. This is the reason that she is a philanthropist, the true lover of mankind.

Man, compared to woman is a Pope, who wages war against infidels for his own glory but in the name of Christ. He incites the faithful to leave for Jerusalem to extort their wealth and land, but woman is a Crusader, who suffers for a righteous cause by serving the Lord Jesus Christ. Of course, in certain cases, man may render greater sacrifice than woman but his love is not quite unselfish. Even when a Moslem dies for the glory of Allah, he expects houris, the most beautiful young women in return.

24. As a controlled passion, love is a melody; it is a source of warmth against the chill of misfortune. It makes the lover oblivious of such troubles which may disturb, deviate and desolate ordinary people. But as an unruly passion, love turns into a cacophony whose grating serves as an alarm bell, which dejects, depresses and devastates the lover. The person in charge of his emotions has a similar control on his life as a driver has over his car or a captain over his ship but a man driven by the pangs of affection, is like a cart placed before the horse or a coffin constantly catapulted by the ruthless waves.

The melodious love is like a mild intoxication; it is a fountain of mirth, merriment and mellifluence but cacophonous love is like an erupting vclcano, the ambassador of destruction; it is a highwayman impatient to act as an envoy of misery, malice and misfortune.

25. The meeting of two pairs of eyes, is an act of stealing each other's hearts. After initial reluctance, fake or real, they may come out in the open to explore the depth of each other's affection, which the mutual larceny creates. The feeling of love brings out the best in them. They dress well, they look well, they talk well and they behave well. And even when they quarrel they mean well. A lover's quarrel is a happy occasion; behind their facial grimaces lurk the greatness of elation, grandeur of inflated feelings and gaudiness of emotions, intent on achieving the delights of excitement through a process of teasing and pleasing. If you have ever loved, you ought to remember the great happiness which you experienced when the lovers' quarrel was healed; you must have felt your stature grow higher by an extraordinarily palpitating heart. That was the period when you were courting - living in commotion and hoping for the best. Courting is the time when love keeps growing through the invigoration of mutual goodwill, which seeks to keep each other happy and ardent. Courting is the period of increasing freshness which reaches climax on the wedding night (provided the marriage is not a forced necessity or an arranged affair). This is the night when all playful expectations are realised, and practicalities of life start raising their head. The consummation of marriage not only marks the emotional peak but also the start of its decline. Thereafter, love has the tendency to become companionship, which is marked by sobriety. It is simply because every curve moves downwards after reaching the peak. However, this is just a tendency and not the rule because love is sweeter than anything else, it is most elastic and inflalable. It is like a football: the more you depress it the more forcefully it bounces back. Love stays young when the couple remain each other's first priority but when other considerations take precedence, they cease to be lovers even if they are good mates. Companionship is subject to the natural law of decline but love is not because its essence is exhuberance which admits no staleness; it is always fresh and eternally young; it is like mercury which is ever-throbbing; it is like change which is never at rest.

An old person in love remains young owing to the youthful exhuberance of his/her passions, but a loveless young person possesses an old interior for lack of buoyant emotions, engendered by the magic of love. His/her face is just a facade to conceal the wrinkles of his/her mind and heart.

26. Do not love your enemy, because love is the highest reward which only noble deeds can deserve. Animosity breeds contempt and hatred, its proper consequences. If an enemy deserves your love, then what will you offer a friend? A man who does not differentiate between a friend and foe, is not a saint but a satan because he seeks to abolish the difference between vice and virtue, tne basis of morality, the foundation of humanity.

A noble person may forgive his enemy and extend the hand of friendship towards him. If accepted, then and only then, he may offer him love, which the ex-enemy must earn. Loving an enemy is as injurious to one's friends as a woman's infidelity is to her man; a pet's bite to its keeper and a sentinel's act of theft to his employer.

27. A friend is not a friend until he is tested and proven. Are you willing to go through a test of friendship yourself? If not, you have no right to put someone else to such a test; love begets love. If you are not capable of inspiring trust, you are not the fit person to be trusted.

Friendship is a form of love, based on the sense of survival, and not on passions. It is usually between members of the same gender and takes a long time to mature. However, once it has reached fullness, it becomes an emotional bond, usually, unbreakable but totally alien to eroticism. On the contrary, love between the opposite genders is essentially sexual. The difference between the two is the same as between gold and brass, coal and diamond or wolf and dog.

28. Love seeks recognition but without making a formal demand for it because most of the love-language is a matter of understanding and not of assertion. Lovers read lips to guage what is in love's heart and go all the way to establish the magnitude of their devotion. There is a great paradox here. The true love demands no proof but the true laver is anxious to provide his credentials of affection. A true lover cannot do too much to establish his credentials of love, and it is all done without being asked. Shah Jehan built the tomb of Taj Mahal as a proof of his love; it was an offering and not a compliance to his love's demand.

29. Love is hope.
Hope is man's best friend. Everything may desert him including fortune and friends, and yet he may live, but when hope leaves him there is nothing to live for: friends appear as foes, fortune as misfortune, light as dark and sweet as bitter. A glaring example is the love of life itself. One's life may be full of oddities - marriage to a difficult spouse, insolent children, nasty parents, nosy neighbours, tough working conditions, a tyrannical boss and loss-making business. All these problems are soluble if a person loves life which gives him hope because he tries to find ways for conquering his sorrows.

Hope is the antedote to despair but without love it is as difficult to imagine hope as it is to think of warmth without fire, of day without sun, of vegetation without water.

30. Love is purity.
Love of prostitutes, mistresses and concubines is not love but an expression of impurity, impropriety and immorality. Promiscuity no matter how enjoyable eventually leads to sorrow through terrible venereal diseases, illegitimacy and social consequences. The moral beauty of an ugly consort outshines the physical attraction of a paramour the same way as a dull- looking car outperforms the good-looking horse.

Purity is an integral part of love. This fact is well- explained by the attitudes of modern western women, who do not attach traditional significance to chastity. They believe in love-marriage, and quite rightly so but will not tolerate infidelity within matrimony because wedlock is considered sacred for being the symbol of love. In fact, love is a purifier; people used to promiscuity, when marry, usually go straight. It is like a hungry man who does not feel the urge to steal after being fed, or the person who does not limp after his injured foot has been healed. A loving husband or wife finds in the spouse, the answer to all desires.

31. Love is excitement.
Excitement is the source of existence because it refers to the process of producing electric or magnetic activity into particles for imparting them the dance of life. What electricity is to the physical being of man, love is to his psychological make-up. A cynical persom used to self-pitying, when falls in love, feels the same effect through emotional excitement as parched earth experiences after heavy rain, the tropical forests from the blazing sun or the Indian faith from the majestic flow of the Ganges. He no longer sits in loneliness indulging in wishful thinking and idling his hours away; neither he prays to gods for helping him to retrieve his lost causes nor does he look for love potions to trap a silly maiden. Love, as distinct from lust, causes a similar stir in his wilted emotions as the driving force of a water-pump does to the stagnant water making it splash, churn and eager to flow. He wants to live again, and desires a fuller life carrying the promise of fulfilment, felicity and fecundity, above the fear of frustration and fiasco.

32. Love is the first human instinct, and the greatest desire.
No malter what we believe in - creation or evolution, one fact is evident, that is, the multiplication of every species is God's or Nature's first priority. Even the Bible wants Adam and Eve to be fruitful through proliferation. However, procreation is the toughest task that humans face; the problems of giving birth and raising children are tremendous. Nature resorts to a simple but effective solution; woman is endowed with an intense love of having a family and man is given a stupendous sexual desire, which he wants to gratify. Of course, it does not mean that woman lacks sensual urge but her carnal inclination, as a general rule, is less compelling than man's, and it becomes weaker with the arrival of children. Thus her motherly love begins to take precedence over other considerations. Without this fact, no woman could discharge her motherly role of love, care and selflessness. Thus woman's desire for family and man's concupiscence combine to create erotic love which emerges as the urge for procreation to rank as the first human instinct.

Erotic love, thus cannot be condemned as done by some religions; it is to be commended for being the fountain of humanity. Therefore, honour becomes an essential part of love, and ranks as a relationship based on observing the rules of fidelity and mutual felicity. In fact, dignity of human race demands purity of sexual relationship, the fountain of mankind. As it is refinement of source which makes running water a sweet stream or a sewer, the dignity or indignity of humanity, depends on the magnitude of sexual relationship.

32 . Love is not a conquest but surrender.
When you have someone you care about that person. Since liberty is the fundamental passion of every human, the better way of expressing one's love is through caring for the rights of the other party. Woman scores on this point because she shows her emotions through care and delicacy but man shows his love through domination. This is the reason that men of all colours and creeds have usually believed in a religion because it enables them to dominate women, who are required to obey their men as God's command, and thus obedience to their husbands ranks as a mark of piety, entitling them to salvation. Woman buys mercy of God through the pleasure of man at a very high cost to herself because his greatest pleasure happens to be the sexual mirth: thus in the name of God, he indulges in polygamy and builds huge harems of beautiful women to maximise carnal delight.

A true lover cannot indulge in the domination of his or her partner. Thus, love is a surrender to the beloved. The lover seeks command and does not give orders. This fact is well demonstrated by the traditions of courtly love which require the lover to address his lady love as "my lord" in keeping with the relationship that existed between the feudal lord and his tenant. Love is not a stone but fresh snow; it is not a thorn but a rose; it is not a sword but a scabbard. Love is based on sweetness, submission and sacrifice. Domination in love is the symbol of deuce and surrender is the mark of deus.

Hate appeals to man 's lower instincts and brings out the worst in him. Thus, it relegates him to the animal kingdom, where moral values have little appreciation.

It is the opposite of love. Though it mainly expresses extreme dislike, it also denotes various conditions of the hater's mind conveyed by such words as slight, contempt, insult, curse, persecution, retribution, scorn, indifference, derogation, domineering, anger, wrath, etc.

B. HATE

1. Hatred is evil in essence, yet it is one of the mediums of survival. It is hatred of the enemy or predator, which makes ( potential ) victim conscious of the impending threat and prepares him to encounter the danger. If mouse loved cat, lamb was enamoured of wolf and snake respected mongoose, the mouse, the lamb and the snake could not survive.

2. Divine hatred is the worst form of detestation. It is based on the principle that God wants His followers to destroy the unbelievers and subject them to perpetual misery. Being the extreme form of misanthropy, it marks total degradation of mankind.

Such a God is the source of evil and must be defied by man. He is inferior to the most inferior man. Not worshipping Him is the highest form of worship.

3. Inferiority complex is a form of self-hating. If you believe in your own dignity and the principle of equality; you cannot allow yourself to become a psychological menial. It is a favourite game of the dominant to make others feel inferior for carrying the yoke of their hegemony. The Caste System of India has turned millions of people into untouchables through this device.

4. Love may not beget love but hatred never fails to breed contempt because it threatens other people's survival. When you indulge in loathing, you are sure to reap what you sow; it is as certain as two and two make four or as sun is the source of light and Christmas is the celebration of Christ's birth.

5. Hate destroy's one's sense of justice. A noble enemy shall not judge his opponent for this reason. Hate is like a burning coal which scorches and cannot be expected to cool; this is a bitter pill and naturally lacks sweetness.

6. Unlucky is the one who desperately desires what he actually detests: love-hate relationship of some couples, who can neither part nor live together, is an example in point. Yet another instance is provided by a Jewish Beauty Queen falling in love with a Nazi, whom she cannot marry.

7. Fear is the mother of hatred. As a conqueror gets happiness from looking down upon the conquered, the vanquished draws solace from hating the victor. It is the nursing power of detestation which sustains the oppressed by keeping his candle of hope alight.

8. Love is give but hate is take. We may give anything to the one we love but want to take away everything from the one we hate. This is why love is forgiveness but hate is revenge.

9. Self-beautification is as natural to a woman as singing is to a lark or a nightingale. Cosmetics is to a woman what sword is to a soldier, pen to a scholar or steam to a locomotive engine. The woman who wants to look scruffy is either half a woman or hates her man to deprive him of the aesthetic delights.

10. Even love can be the source of hatred. Arranging dowry by a father for the nuptial disposal of his laughter, though invovles a lot of financial sacrifice, which is not possible without a strang feeling of love, in fact, demonstrates woman's inferiority because it means: no dowry, no husband.

This is a Form of social hatred towards the female gender, fully approved by the male relatives!

11. To make one feel inferior through self-hatred is a psychological accomplishment of the schemer. Cultural history of "man versus woman" is an example in point. Classification of woman by man as the devil-incarnate expresses his mastery in deception and subtlety. Stories of Adam and Eve by the Jews, Creation myth of Tawshtry by the Hindus and Pandora's box by the Greeks, have been so effective that for thousands of vears, women themselves have believed in their own inferiority and have thus been guilty of slighting their own sex. Is it not exceilence of the tamer if the lion behaves toward him like a lamb or a cheetah crawls before him as if he were a chicken?

12. A female nagging seldom fails to disturb, devastate and demolish a man emotionally; it has the same relationship with woman as thunderbolt had with Zeus and long hair with Samson. Unlike her aesthetic appeal, which humbles man with fascination, nagging is her retaliatory tool expressing her contempt for male aggression. However, an arrow may miss its target but never hits the archer. On the contrary, nagging unless skillully directed at the goal, may rebound at its practitioner with unsavouly result.

13. A hateful woman is the scourge cf God, yet she is the ambassadress of love and unity in many ways. Her nuptial chamber has been the means of averting deadly wars, creating political alliances and bringing to an end the most cruel vendettas. Fathers and brothers have used her as a pawn to secure great benefits for themselves by creating inter-family ties and men have married her for poli ical skulduggery to raise their power, pomp and prestige. Yet she has been no more than a suppliant dove, though occasionally she has reacted angrily. What is anger?

ANGER

14. Anger is the extreme form of hatred also known as wrath. It may be provoked deliberately or inadvertenty; its cause may lie even in the angry person himself. Serving a Jew with ham or a Hindu with beef, no matter how innocently, is likely to provoke his anger, which is associated with one's mental condition.

15. Anger is inclined to seek vengeance; it acts as the driving force, which cannot be suppressed easily.

16. Anger is usually sudden, but it may start as a dislike or annoyance and build up over a period of time. The sudden anger is like a tornado which may waft the angry person into unwanted directions.

17. Anger, though destructive by nature, can provoke laughter: an angry midget trying to hit a heavy-weight boxer or an angry bald headed person who loses his toupee while attacking his opponent are some of the examples.

18. Anger needs compensation. A chance to rant and rave usually provides relies to the frustration of an angry man. It may reduce his desire to cause serious damage to his opponent. This tendency operates when the weaker dog allows nis stronger adversary to snarl at him and even molest him. This condition enables the stronger dog to vent his violent feeling and he refrains from killing the weaker dog. This situaticn also prevails when a person confronted by a snake stands still. The reptile takes it for a sign of submission and seldom attacks.

19. Anger though usually evil, can also be an ambassador of virtue by acting as the medium of avenging one's honour; rebellion of a nation against the conqueror, and retaliation of a husband against the seducer of his wife, are examples of righteous anger. In such instances, it acts as the means of securing justice and restoring one's honour.

20. Anger when activated by hate, and not the nobler passions such as securing justice and avenging honour is the most sordid human trait.

21. Anger when based on racial hatred of other groups, increases in its destructive power like the bite of a mad dog. Thus it becomes the most effective tool of achieving devilish dreams. Hitler discovered this tact, and executed it with a masterly skill; making Jews the target of the German hatred, he embarked upon his maniacal ambition of becoming the Master of the world.

22. Anger is not a tortoise but a hare: it quickens the pace of action; the well becomes a fast-running stream and the ass turns into a racing horse. The actions of an angry man, usually being hasty and reckless, defy planning and restraint.

23. Anger serves as a stiffener for one's personality and endows it with the courage to fight harder the same way as air inflates a balloon and enables it to soar higher.

24. The angry man if honest, cannot hide his anger, but the one who can, is a master of dexterity; he should be feared but not trusted.

25. Anger, which has been induced is like a fizzy wine; it loses its spluttering with a bang as soon as the bottle is uncorked but the genuine anger is like matured whisky which remains unaffected by uncorking.

A wiseman endeavours to find out the nature of a person's anger before tackling him. If handled tactfully, the induced anger may prove no more than the bark of a dog or lightning of a cloud.

Induced anger is usually a fleeting condition of the mind brought about by instigation but genuine anger is based on personal motivation.

26. Anger which has not been soothed or avenged is like a festering wound likely to become deeper every day to distort one's personality. Socially, it leads to family feuds and vendettas, carried on from generation to generation.

Unsoothed or unavenged anger is like a smouldering fire, which the first gust of wind can set aflame; it is like a bull waiting for the red rag; it is no different from the half-uprooted tree ready to fall on the passerby without any warning.

The person harbouring unsoothed or unavenged anger is naturally the most dangerous enemy. Your pat to a snarling dog may turn him friendly towards you but a conciliatory gesture towards such a person may make him even more vicious.

27. Anger in a wise company is likely to wither away but in a circle of fools, it stays fresh and keeps growing. A foolish coterie to anger is what a hurricane is to gleeds, excessive sweet-eating is to a diabetic or a oaded gun is in the hand of a child.

28. Anger, when it comes to you may be the ambassador of righteousness but when you look for it, may be an inspiration of the Devil.

29. Anger may be interwoven into one's cultural conditioning which leads to automatic appreciation of certain modes of performance, and rejection of others, without any reference to vice and virtue. It annoys the Swiss that the Italians talk loud; it embarrasses the British to see Muslim women wearing hajaabs - ( purdah ).

30. Anger usually arises from insult and frustration. Do not insult others if you do not want to be insulted yourself.

Incapacity to do something acts as the fountain of frustration. Though you never know what you really are until you try, even then, it can be stated as a rule that estimate your capability in relation to the task well before you undertake it. By doing so, you can save a lot of frustration and reduce the chance of getting angry.

31. Anger is the desire for violence, and can be both offensive or defensive. It is like the calm water surface changing into stormy waves.

When envy is the source of anger, the angry man is likely to be harmless when he has achieved parity with the person, who arouses the feeling of envy. But when jealousy is the fountain of anger, it is destructive all the way for having no constructive purpose at all.

32. Anger is an excessive behaviour denoted by change of colour, bulging eyes, stammering tongue, heaving breasts and quivering body. This condition is sustained by a change in the physiological process requiring a thumping heart to rush blood to facilitate coordination between various organs.

Thus anger as physiological experience is an expression of the changed physiological process of the body. It is like a siesmic shock which is damaging owing to its rocking effect. If its duration is prolonged it becomes more devastating. Thus a person subject to frequent and longer spells of anger, loses healthy mind and becomes a source of irritation to the people around him.

33. Wrath is the most in jurious form of anger. Such a person is on a war footing. Having lost sense of reasoning, he becomes obsessed with destruction.

When applied to the female, it seems more appropriate to call it "Woman's Fury" instead of wrath. Woman's loving nature is neither capable of sustaining the heat engendered by wrath nor has she the capacity to offend or retaliate as required by the high degree of anger denoted by wrath.

Woman's Fury is of course, known for its high lethality but she seldom expresses it in a direct counter. It usually takes the form of a ruse, pretence or disloyalty, aiming at revenge. The cause is her physical weakness which dons the mantle of cunning for gaining necessary strength to act as the retaliatory tool of woman's anger .

The female cunning is an effect ve force because woman is man's weakness owing to her tremendous sexual appeal to him. This is what trims his wings, and despite his aggressive behaviour, he ends up acting like a lamb to gain her pleasure.

In this context, it should also be remembered that woman is tender, and represents the beauty of nature; it is a major characteristic of beauty to be ostentatious for drawing maximum attention to itself to be adored and idolised. Thus Woman's Fury, which is concealed by her power of pretence is far less ugly than wrath, whose vestiges are painted all over the face of man suffering from this condition.

34. Wrath is a feature of masculinity. Since it lacks reasoning, it acts as the vehicle of brute force by becoming a part of man's dominance-urge: lives of terrible men like Genghis Khan, Tamburlaine and Adolf Hitler vouch for this fact. These haughty characters wanted to subjugate mankind to their own will for personal glory irrespective of the cost to the oppressed.

These men were not stolid but acutely conscious of their pomp, prestige and power. Wrath, which is a form of madness for achieving a goal through battering, bullying and blasting, was an integral part of their cruel psychological mechanism.

There is yet another reason which differentiates between Wrath and Woman's Fury. Genghis Khan and people like him used murder, arson and plunder as the tools of their wrath but a Woman's Fury usually employs subtle methods to upset her male targets; amongst them are: quickness of temper, ceasing speaking to him, feigning headaches at bed-time, shouting, nagging, threats of desertion, bad house-keeping, apparent or real infidelity, cold and calculated attitude.

35. Finally, a noble person seldom hates. His hatred of vice is actually his love for virtue. When he says: "I hate tyranny," he actually means: "I love liberty."
 
 

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 A Psychological Factor

 

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